Archive for Humor

Funny lawyer joke

Alright readers, I know I’ve been MIA lately, but that’s all due to law school! Now, I’m on summer vaca so hopefully I’ll be able to post more often. In honor of my being MIA from law school, here’s a funny lawyer related joke I read:

Excess billing hours:

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”

St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”

A cute story on love

A friend sent me this story!  It’s really sweet and I think a good way to acknowledge ones spouse (even though I’m still riding single!)

A man called the government office where I work and requested an estimate of his benefits upon retirement.

After I gave him the information, he went on to enquire about his wife’s benefits. I asked if she had ever worked.

“She has worked all her life making me happy”. He replied.

That was nice I commented, but had she ever contributed to a pension plan?

No, he said. “We made an agreement when we got married. I would make the living and she would make the living worthwhile.

Men don’t lie?

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Saw this story on FB and thought I’d share with my lovely readers.  Also, I apologize for not blogging as often as I had promised.  Winter break was really short and I had a stomach flu for most of it, and then classes restarted.  I will try to set aside some time for the blog soon!

Till then, enjoy this story:

Men are (supposedly) Honest

“One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked..

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with AISHWARYA RAI. Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .”

 

Mean Kitty

Just watch and you’ll know what I mean

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aol.com%2Fvideo%2Furlesque-daily-cat-pushes-friend-down-stairs%2F517236936%2F%3Ficid%3Dmaing-grid7%257Cmain5%257Cvideo-module%257Csec2_lnk1%257C123282&h=zAQG9JhIi

Funny Video of the Day

This is highly amusing to watch… look at her face too lol!

Video of the Day: Simon’s Cat

If you haven’t seen this video series on Youtube, you’re definitely missing out!  It truly captures the behavior of cats and their interactions in daily life.  Hilarious.  It uses simple line art, but it’s well animated nonetheless.  Check out one of my fav vids below!

 

Anyone up for Kati Rolls?

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If you love parody videos, you’ll definitely enjoy “Kati Roll” which is an Indian parody to Pitbull & Ne-Yo’s “Give Me Everything (Tonight)”. The parody is done by the “Brown Boys”, consisting of Raj Jhaveri aka The Urban Nerd, Sam Hasan, Omar Mirza, Khurram Ansari Mehtabdin, Shuja Shafqat and Atif Waseem Khan. Check out the “Give Me Kati Roll (Tonight)” music video!

 

Says Raj:

There aren’t really any Desi Youtube stars besides Jus Reign, AK Amazing, Diary of a Bad Man, and neither of them are from the U.S.A. We wanted to take it up a notch with this music video because we really are a crazy bunch!

 

Further details at:

http://urbanasian.com/bollywood/2011/08/get-some-kati-rolls-tonight-with-the-brown-boys/

 

 

I Know This Laywer

Lawyer

I read this funny story earlier today and thought it was funny enough to post!  I didn’t write it, and have no idea who the author is, but I hope you like it.

 

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!””

Shakespeare vs. Dr. Seuss Rap Battle

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It’s amazing the things people decide to put on youtube!  These two boys do rap videos pitting famous names and/or characters against each other.  This particular one is Shakespeare vs. Dr. Seuss.  Check it out below!

 

 

 

Ghetto names

daily-dos-sez-who

As usual, I’ve been spending time on Youtube just looking at funny vids.  This clip I found is hilarious.  It’s a spin-off of the “top ghetto names” video someone made a while back. Both links have been provided for your viewing pleasure. Top Ghetto Names is the original. I first saw it about a year ago. In my opinion, it reigns supreme in funny Youtube clips. Check out the clips below:

 

Top 60 Ghetto Names:

Top 45 Indian Names: