Archive for Law

Funny lawyer joke

Alright readers, I know I’ve been MIA lately, but that’s all due to law school! Now, I’m on summer vaca so hopefully I’ll be able to post more often. In honor of my being MIA from law school, here’s a funny lawyer related joke I read:

Excess billing hours:

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”

St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”

Diwali officially recognized in the US

761px-The_Rangoli_of_Lights

First, I would just like to say a very Happy Diwali to all my readers, friends, and family!  I hope the New Year brings you health, wealth, and everything you desire!

Secondly, I wanted to share this awesome news with you!  The Congress of the US has officially passed a resolution recognizing the religious and historical significance of the Indian festival of Diwali.

Diwali (also spelled Devali in certain regions) or Deepavali is the Indian “festival of lights” that is celebrated between mid-October and mid-November.  The name “Diwali” is a contraction of “Deepavali” which translates into “row of lamps”. During the festival, one lights small clay lamps or diyas to signify the triumph of light/good over darkness/evil).  Hindus believe the Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity) will enter their homes and bless them if these lamps are kept lit over night.  One typically clean’s their house to make Lakshmi feel extra welcome.  Firecrackers are burst in order to drive away evil spirits. Diwali is best celebrated with friends and family who make special cuisine and sweets during the week.

For Hindus, Diwali is one of the most important festivals of the year and is celebrated in families by performing traditional activities together in their homes.  For Jains, Diwali marks the attainment of moksha or nirvana by Mahavira in 527 BC.  Diwali is celebrated for 5 days.

Check out the legislation below:

H.RES.439 — Recognizing the religious and historical significance of the festival of Diwali. (Introduced in House – IH)
 

HRES 439 IH

 

112th CONGRESS
 

1st Session
 

H. RES. 439
Recognizing the religious and historical significance of the festival of Diwali.

 

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
 

October 14, 2011
Mr. CROWLEY submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Foreign Affairs


 

RESOLUTION
Recognizing the religious and historical significance of the festival of Diwali.

Whereas for millions of Indian Americans, Diwali is a time for thanksgiving and prayer for health, knowledge and peace;

Whereas Diwali, a festival of great significance to Indian Americans, is celebrated annually by Hindus, Sikhs, Jains and some Buddhists throughout the United States;

Whereas Diwali is a festival of lights, during which celebrants light small oil lamps, place them around the home, and pray for health, knowledge and peace;

Whereas celebrants of Diwali believe that the rows of lamps symbolize the light within the individual that rids the soul of the darkness of ignorance;

Whereas Diwali falls on the last day of the last month in the lunar calendar and is celebrated as a day of thanksgiving and the beginning of the New Year for many Hindus;

Whereas for Hindus, Diwali is a celebration of the return of god following the vanquishing of demonic forces;

Whereas for Sikhs, Diwali is feted as the day on which the sixth founding Sikh guru, Guru Hargobind, was released from captivity by the Mughal Emperor Jehangir;

Whereas for Jains, Diwali marks the anniversary of the attainment of Nirvana by Lord Mahavira, the last of the Tirthankaras (founders of the Jain philosophy); and

Whereas Diwali is a celebration of great importance in Indian American communities throughout the United States: Now, therefore, be it

 

Resolved,

     That the House of Representatives–

 

      (1) recognizes the historical and religious significance of Diwali;

 

      (2) in observance of Diwali, the festival of lights, expresses its deepest respect for Indian Americans and the Indian Diaspora throughout the world on this significant occasion;

 

      (3) recognizes and appreciates the religious diversity in both India and the United States and throughout the world; and

 

        (4) acknowledges and supports the relationship of collaboration and respect between the United States and India.

Appalled!

When I opted to become a lawyer, I entered the field having full respect for our legal system. I always thought that America stands for justice and that the guilty were the only ones to be given punishment.  Today, however, after the ruling for Troy Davis to get death, my faith in our legal system has definitely been shaken.

In the US, we’re quick to downplay other countries’ systems and mock the corruption that apparently pervades through the veins of their officials.  However, after today, I think our faith in the American justice system has been challenged.

I did criminal law last semester and the message that was reinforced to us fledgling lawyers was that the death penalty should not be given except in an extreme case.  There is always a possibility that the person we are sentencing to death is not the guilty party.  Furthermore, we say that death and murder in any form is not to be condoned, yet the system condones death in situations like this?  I thought the whole “eye for an eye” rational no longer holds in a modern world.

In the case of Troy Davis, there was apparently no physical evidence and no murder weapon found. There are reports that the actual killer has notified cops that Troy wasn’t the actual killer.  7 out of 9 witnesses have since recanted their testimonies. That’s no paltry figure!  That’s far more than over half!!

The right killer has to be caught!  The right killer needs to be the one who is punished in order for our legal system’s deterrent effect to truly be effective.  The problem with Troy’s case is that there is far too much doubt as to his liability to grant him death!  The Supreme Court shied away from admitting that the courts in Georgia were wrong.  This isn’t a school playground where friends need to stick with friends simply because they’re from the same circle.  If the Supreme Court thought that admitting to a mistake would make our faith in the system falter, this decision has had a worse effect by making our faith shatter in the highest courts of our country.  The Supreme Court should really remanded the case below or should have overturned the verdict and made it for life.  At the least a new trial should have been granted.  The death penalty has a high standard – that there must be clear and convincing evidence that a person is guilty.  Here, this standard could not be met.  There was too much doubt clouding the case.

I had a feeling that our Supreme Court justices would shy away from admitting their mistake.  I had a feeling they thought they might set precedence that protests could cause a change in a conviction for a party.  We have gotten too caught up in upholding a system on paper, and have lost all human compassion in our rulings.  Even if Troy truly is guilty, the fact there is doubt suggests that the death penalty sentence is overturned.

Even if the Supreme Court did not pardon him, I wish the Plaintiff’s family in the case would pardon him.  It’s sickening that Plaintiff’s sister will even watch them kill an innocent man.

This case is shocking to me being an American, and moreso because I am a law student.

I Know This Laywer

Lawyer

I read this funny story earlier today and thought it was funny enough to post!  I didn’t write it, and have no idea who the author is, but I hope you like it.

 

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!””

Kim Kardashian’s wedding!

kim

Is it sad that while everyone else was wondering what Kim Kardashian wore to her wedding, I was thinking “I wonder if she got her guests to sign a privacy agreement.” Law school has definitely taken over my brain. I read a case about Catherine Zeta-Jones’ wedding to Michael Douglas where they sued Hello Magazine. The case was called Douglas vs. Hello and is from 2001 (but also again 2003, 2005)! I’ll save you all the details, but basically they signed a deal with OK! Magazine to be the exclusive distributor of their selected wedding pics. Someone leaked the pics from the wedding (surprise surprise) and Hello magazine published unauthorized pics. Ultimately the court said the wedding wasn’t really private despite the guests signing a privacy statement since it was unreasonable to expect that a large wedding correlated to privacy.

In Kim’s case, I think she wouldn’t mind if pics were released. After all, the Kardashians are reality stars and enjoy publicity. However, I still wonder about paparazzi intrusion into their lives. I don’t think anyone wants to be on film 24/7 and I hope, at least initially, Kim and her new hubby get some to themselves out of the spotlight. Of course, if it’s their choice to be in the public eye and they don’t mind press about themselves, it’s ok.

I hope Kim’s wedding is as successful as Khloe’s to Lamar. They (Khloe-Lamar) seem like such a down-to-earth couple. I have no opinion of Kris Humphries yet… but am I the only one who thinks he kinda looks like the wearwolf guy, Taylor Lautner, from Twilight?

Photo credit for Kim-Kris pic = Mark Thompson / Getty Images

 

Female lawyer gets her car stuck in cement?

law

OK, I’m not sure how people manage to do things like this, but being a female and a law student myself, it was pretty hilarious reading this article.  This poor girl drove her Lexus into wet cement in Texas!  Now, I’d rather blame this occurrence on the fact that she’s a Texan and not a lawyer!  (Sorry Texans!  New England pride all the way!)

 

The car got stuck while she was going to take a U-Turn.  I know what you’re thinking, most lawyers can easily get themselves out of sticky situations, but this was one road block this poor lawyer could not bulldoze her way through.

 

Apparently, observers thought she didn’t out of the car because she didn’t want to ruin her shoes!

 

Full Article here