Alright readers, I know I’ve been MIA lately, but that’s all due to law school! Now, I’m on summer vaca so hopefully I’ll be able to post more often. In honor of my being MIA from law school, here’s a funny lawyer related joke I read:
Excess billing hours:
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
I read this funny story earlier today and thought it was funny enough to post! I didn’t write it, and have no idea who the author is, but I hope you like it.
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!””
OK, I’m not sure how people manage to do things like this, but being a female and a law student myself, it was pretty hilarious reading this article. This poor girl drove her Lexus into wet cement in Texas! Now, I’d rather blame this occurrence on the fact that she’s a Texan and not a lawyer! (Sorry Texans! New England pride all the way!)
The car got stuck while she was going to take a U-Turn. I know what you’re thinking, most lawyers can easily get themselves out of sticky situations, but this was one road block this poor lawyer could not bulldoze her way through.
Apparently, observers thought she didn’t out of the car because she didn’t want to ruin her shoes!
Full Article here